I miss you so much

The two-year anniversary of my forced move is not that far away. I had to leave so much on the curb for the trash people. Literally on the curb. Years of building my art studio went into storage, I haven’t seen or touched my paints, inks, papers, ribbons, pencils, glues, cutters, stamps, beads since the day they were packed. My kitchen, books, curtains and assortment of antiques all in storage since move day. The “things” that gave me comfort, caught my eye, made me happy, made me smile all packaged up in cardboard, sitting in a barn, waiting and hoping.

It seems too that along with everything else packed away, so has my ability to write. I guess it was just too much anxiety, fear, sadness and adjustments that shut down my heart and my mind. I have thought of you all so often, stopped in to see the great posts, photos and adventures. But for some reason that I can’t explain, I have been rendered speechless. It makes me sad in the sense that I am no longer a part of your lives because I can’t write. I miss you all so much, truly I do. In some way maybe I just don’t feel equal anymore. My life is not filled with the adventures of Kayaking NYC and abroad. Going to beautiful, exotic places in Europe as a Travel Blogger, sharing magnificent photos from California and around the world, seeing the heart and soul of a painter from Vancouver BC or the most breathtaking Sketches from Australia. I miss you, each and every one of you. My life doesn’t seem worth sharing, at least not right now.

Please, please don’t give up on me.

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6 Responses to I miss you so much

  1. greenlakeblue says:

    Just try to relax… meditate… breathe… smile, and the rest will come. Don’t give up on yourself. Life is full of lessons, sometimes we have no idea what do they mean or if, indeed, we are ever supposed to know its meaning. Wishing you well, Natalia.

    • Thank you Natalia, your kind words resonate.
      I am fine overall, I just can not put thoughts to “paper”. I started my first blog somewhere around 2008. I’ve been told that I am a decent writer and I like to write. It has been an enjoyable outlet for me in the past. I’m wondering if the circumstances of the move and the fight to survive since has just done a little more damage than I had realized.
      I smile everyday – no one needs to know how I feel on the inside – I have much to be thankful for.

      • greenlakeblue says:

        You’re welcome and sorry for my late comment back. This is another thing for me: I love to write but I don’t feel the motivation as I used to feel. Sometimes I wonder why people blog at all, including me. Life’s circumstances can have so much impact on one’s writing journey.. for the best and for the worst, I guess.

  2. Claudette says:

    I have been helped tremendously by taking powdered magnesium, optimag neuro. Look it up online. My acupuncturist gave this to me and it’s helped my joints, sleep, relaxation, depression,and morning bathroom. I only mention it because it helped me with my writers block. I’m a novelist. I came across your blog when I was searching kids I went to Winslow elementary school with. I kind of remember you. Cheer up. Things do get better. Sometimes we have to allow ourselves to relax enough and trust in God that things will work out. Keep writing!

    • Thank you Claudette. I do take certain natural supplements which help with my Rheumatoid Arthritis and overall balance.
      Ahhh, Winslow elementary!!! Brings back memories from so long ago.
      Being a novelist and having writers block?……torture! I’m sorry.
      Thanks again for reaching out.

  3. Don Olney says:

    We will never forget you because you are unforgetable! ❤

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