The Storm known as Sandy has passed. To say I am grateful is an understatement, I was spared any and all inconvieniences. My quart of milk sits in the fridge, furnace keeping me warm, hot water at the ready and my animal family safe and sound. Millions of others were not so fortunate and it will take months and years to rebuild, reconstruct and reconnect their way of life. I know I was one of the lucky ones and will not take that for granted.
My friend and fellow blogger, onethousandsingledays, wrote the most beautiful and thought-provoking piece yesterday on her blog about Time. It got me thinking about my trip to Italy in the Spring. I have been planing this trip since the spring, back then I had one year. Now it’s down to months. Seven to be exact. I’m getting nervous, worrying if it will all fall into place as I had planned it would. There have been health issues which have forced me to use my Airfare savings to pay medical expenses. My Passport Application still sits on my fridge waiting to be sent. Reasons for which I will not take the time to explain at the moment, I will say that it is hovering over me and I know it needs to be sent soon. The issue is being worked on though to me it’s painfully going at a snail’s pace and each week I get more stressed and nervous about Time.
On May 12, 2013 it will be 100 Years to the Day that my Italian Immigrant Grandfather arrived on American soil. Leaving his home and his country for a better life, to create a family and after a few years as a laborer, opened his own Grocery and Meat Market and became successful. He achieved his goals and his dreams. He died at the young age of 56 before I was born. He left my Grandmother and three adult married children.
There was not much contact with family back in Italy after my grandmother died. Years passed and relatives did too. Decades came and went and all contact was lost between the families of each country. Until I started to do some digging….in short I found them in Melfi, Italy in 2010. Re connected with blood relatives. I was shocked, they were shocked to know each existed. So I put this plan into motion to go, meet them, visit the place my grandparents came from. Houses still stand, churches, streets they walked, my own personal family history to see and touch. I need to go there but Time, I feel time is moving too quickly now. I am worried and scared that it won’t happen, that I will not walk off of that plane in Naples on May 12,2013. Put my feet on Italian soil on that day. My fear, my questions, all circle around the “what if it doesn’t happen”? I have been consumed with this trip, it’s all I think about. Nothing past May 12, 2013 is in my future, it’s THAT day that is so important to me. I can’t bear the thought of it not happening and yet now the doubts begin to pile up. One after the other…..the questions come, will the financial stuff get worked out in time? Will I have the money to pay for the tickets? Will I be able to do this? It seemed so easy a few months ago, people travel all the time, what’s the big deal? Secretly I know in my heart of hearts that my family here think it’s a pipe dream. They doubt me, they don’t believe I will/can do it. It kind of hurts but it makes me all the more driven. This is a once in a lifetime trip for someone like me. There will never be a 100 Years to the Day date like this.
Time…it’s all about Time.
I highly recommend this post by onethousandsingledays.( http://onethousandsingledays.com/2012/10/30/my-time-is-running-out/ )