The Return 2015

Eleven months ago I was a bundle of nerves and filled with excitement. Final preparations were being made for my trip to Italy to meet my family for the first time. Before booking this trip my last official “vacation” was to Cape Cod in 1993, so I was more than ready to leave town and venture out in to the world. Having never flown on an international flight I was feeling unsure of how I would find my way and get to where I needed to be on time during the plane changes. Those were very minor concerns as the bigger, better task was to be properly prepared. I had been planning this trip in my mind for months and now I was down to just a few short weeks of my dream becoming a reality.

It was weeks after my return to the states before I could write about my visit. So deeply touched by the huge outpouring of love by my italian family and the people of Melfi, it took me a very long time to regroup myself both mentally and emotionally. It felt as though I was floating inside a huge bubble of the experiences I had in Italy. My sleep interrupted with memories of joy and happiness, I would wake during the night and realize I was back in my own bed and had been dreaming. The dreams felt so real and were only unsettling because I was torn between two countries and two families – both of which were my own.

Since then my life has taken yet another crazy turn. It was rough, it was tough and it sure was painful but damned if I didn’t make it through!!! Ha! YES I survived. I have paid my price and have now cleared the way for more good things to enter my life. Choosing to replace the bad and ugly with the beautiful bread and wine life has to offer.

That is Italian bread and Italian wine…..I am returning to my beloved Italy! The decision came last week. To describe how I came to the decision is quite difficult because I didn’t really plan it and wasn’t even thinking about it. I mean, I knew I’d return to Italy but with everything that has happened in past couple of months it wasn’t foremost on my mind. I guess the best way I can put it is that it was a “physical” feeling. I felt my body get light, it felt clean and clear like a beautiful blue sky. Then June 2015 came to mind and that was it. I will return to Italy in June 2015.

So I start again to over-work myself to save money for airfare and spending. This time I know what I’m in for! This time I will take gifts. This time I will speak better Italian! I’ve met everyone at least once, so this time I will spend more time with the elders. This time I will ask more questions. This time maybe I’ll fly into Rome – I’d love to see it! Maybe, just maybe I might add an extra week there….
AND this time I will go without threats from “Mr”. This time I will not be punished by him either. I am so very thankful to be free of him and his deranged mind.

I can’t wait to go to Melfi again! To spend a day or two in Naples again, what a beautiful city. We will walk in the mountains again. There are babies that have been born, one that has been adopted and a set of twins on the way, I will meet these amazing children, gifts from God to our family. I will kiss their cheeks and hug them and tell them they are cherished. I will see my beloved elder Palmina’s (all 3 of them) and my dearest Vincenza who writes to me in translated english and worries about me when she see’s horrible storms of the US on her television.

I am returning to my home of comfort and love. The place my heart feels peace. I am returning to Italy.

New to my blog? You can read the whole Italy story here:
I’ll be home in 100 years Part 1

I’ll be home in 100 years Part 2

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4 Responses to The Return 2015

  1. Your words translate smiles and peace and relief and “Yes! I do deserve what I really, really want!”… You go for it. If you believe it, you will have it.
    Wishing you all the best all the way to June 2015 and ahead :)

  2. rommel says:

    Oh my! How scary, brave, overwhelming and exciting that must be! I hope you don’t suffer from sophomore slump. :D Knock on wood. You don’t have to fly to Rome. I always take the train there on many weekends when I was in Naples. I think it was €22 to and from. I think there’s also a time limit thing. If anything, to think about it, it’s not at all bad.

  3. Jill says:

    I am so happy for you!! Just reading this has a wonderful calming effect on the soul. I hope your visit will bring you even more happiness than the first one did. I will be in Italy visiting family and vacationing in November. I was able to research my family and find distant relatives much in part to the inspiration I drew from your story, so for that I thank you. :) Keep us posted about your plans!! I know I would love to hear about them.

    • Jill I am so excited that you have found and will be meeting family in Italy!!! If your experience is anything like mine, you are in for the ride of your life! I would be more than happy to share some helpful hints of things to take with you if you’d like. (A blank journal type book – glue a few envelopes to pages here and there. Perfect to take notes, addresses and places to keep little scraps of paper that you are bound to have.)
      I bet your Italian relatives are crazy excited to meet you. Oh, the stories you’ll have and I can’t wait to hear them!!
      Stay in touch please :)

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